by Josephine Bamidele Aiyegbeni Volkel
Life does not favour everyone. As many people will tell you, life is not fair. It is hard for some and easy for others. Regardless of which group we find ourselves in, we can choose to live our lives positively, use our time wisely, and avoid absorbing negative or worthless influences. Our lives have different aims and purposes; for various reasons, we perceive, approach, and do things differently.
Whatever our purpose in life, irrespective of our individual perceptions and approaches, we all need to engage with other people as friends, colleagues, lovers, siblings, or spouses, irrespective of race, cultural background, gender, age, or family background. It does not matter who we must deal with; we need to understand there will sometimes be friction. There is no way to please everyone, no matter how hard we try. People have different perceptions, ways of approaching issues, temperaments, physical and biological attributes, and views on various issues and topics.
Some people tend to perceive situations in a positive way, while others view them negatively. Some people feel threatened by others who they believe have the qualities they lack. Whatever situation we find ourselves in, we must be prepared to get along with others without emotional breakdowns. We must always remember that life is a journey, which starts when we are born and ends when we leave this world. We will not all succeed in accomplishing our goals or fulfilling our destinies, but we must use the limited time we have in a positive way.
WHAT IS ENERGY?
Everything in this world contains some form of energy and can transmit energy, whether positive or negative. This raises the question: what is human energy? Our minds generate energy, influencing our emotions, drive, psyche, health, and human undertakings, good and bad. In the words of Aristotle, ‘the energy of the mind is the essence of life.’ Energy influences the way we talk, act, and react to the issues and people around us. Human energy can be either positive or negative. This book focuses on negative energy, showing how it affects our daily lives and how we can eliminate it. This brings us to the all-important question: what is negative energy?
Negative energy is the type of energy (absorbed through our thoughts, emotions, and words or those of other people) that prevents our minds and emotions from functioning in the right way. It can make us overly sensitive or cause us to react to our environment negatively. We absorb negative energy when we are emotionally downtrodden or hurt. It affects our daily lives, moods, productivity, and happiness. Negative energy drains us and depletes our reserve of positive energy.
Whether we know it or not, we constantly absorb either negative or positive energy from the world around us. As another writer put it: ‘Negative energy is that force that is absorbed from our environment into our hearts and minds, which generates negative emotions in us, such as sadness, hatred, low self-esteem and self-worth, low psyche, self-rejection, thoughts of inadequacy and failure, jealousy, bitterness and resentment, depression, and suicidal thoughts.’
To a large extent, negative energy determines and influences our contributions and achievements as human beings. It can have an extremely negative impact on our relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. When we absorb other people’s negative energy, we place ourselves in heavy bondage, allowing that energy to shape our attitudes and ideas. It can create a negative belief system that eventually becomes a mindset, which we cannot escape from. For this reason, many people find it difficult to undo negative (bad) habits, attitudes, and traits. They become a form of bondage that people spend entire lives struggling with.
When people absorb our energy, they make us weak. This happens because, despite all the negative energy that exists, many of us do our best to share positive energy through kind and polite words and actions, which others may not always appreciate. We must protect and preserve our given energy. We must always be our best in the positive sense, irrespective of the negative energy around us. To achieve this, we must refuse to pay attention to irrelevant matters, worthless information, or anything that hurts us or co-opts our thoughts or internal sources of joy. In doing so, we prevent negative forces from sapping our control, energy, and power.
Whatever we focus on negative things, they occupy our thoughts and drain us. For this reason, people who absorb too much negative energy are prone to health problems, such as high blood pressure, hypertension, and stomach ulcers. The negative energy and issues that preoccupy them grow into constant negative thoughts, worries, fears, hatred, and critical attitudes.
Consider the fact that some recorded suicide cases are due to some form of negative energy, which is absorbed and festers without intervention. As Tom Hiddleston once said: ‘Haters never win, I just think that’s true about life because negative energy always costs in the end.’ Hatred is a form of negative energy that expands, turning its host into a hater. It can cause people to commit hate crimes, such as murder, or even to commit suicide as an act of self-hate. This is the cost of hatred, a form of negative energy absorbed and fostered through constant attention. Whatever form it takes, negative energy can destroy the things we value most, from our marriages to our jobs, friendships, health, and even lives.
We should focus on what we need rather than what we want, as an unfulfilled want can generate negative energy. We must learn to forget offenses, so as not to become another person’s dustbin. We should immediately forgive people who hurt us, even if they don’t apologise. In the words of an unknown writer, ‘refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting it to hurt the other person.’
When we forgive and let go, we are doing ourselves a favour by ridding ourselves of the negative energy we absorbed when someone committed an act against us. Some people enjoy watching others being drained. They need this experience to survive; it is their way of moving forward.
Instead of letting others define us, we should define ourselves. No one can control us unless we give them the power to do so. We relinquish this power when we become preoccupied with their thoughts. By projecting ourselves into other people’s minds, we absorb their energy. However, when we place ourselves in environments that boost our spirits, we preserve our energy. Why should we spend and waste our time thinking about things that have no relevance in our lives? We must filter the information we absorb.