I told the Movie Theater Club about the trouble. They were sympathetic and that was all that they could be. I didn’t expect more. After all, what was there for any of us to do about it? Was it less or more than what I could do without their help? The collective imagination might see […]

Prologue Lying in that detox bed, smelling myself — that combination of alcohol leaching from my pores and the rancid, stale stress sweat, I knew that I wasn’t fooling anyone. I was hurting, wanting to jump out of my skin, but trying to maintain a facade of okay. But I had been stripped of everything […]

Chapter One Hope with Me “Get down there, boy…” Even at four years old, I heard the threat in my dad’s slurred words. He stumbled away, leaving a trail of sour breath in the air, but I knew he’d be back…most likely. If I was lucky, he’d finish the beer in his hand, his sixth […]

Chapter One Earliest Memory My first memory is from when I was six years old. I was wearing a pretty dress, white ruffled bobby socks, and Mary Jane shoes. My hair was up in three big plaits. I was happy because I felt pretty. I’d gotten all dressed up. It was going to be a […]

Introduction Our existence is fragile. I learned that in many intricate ways, long before the COVID-19 pandemic, so I do not take today for granted. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I do not even know if tomorrow will come. On the eve of Thanksgiving 2016, I received the diagnosis of stage 4 […]

HYPER(IMPER)EALITY America is the land of cults and cult leaders, of hyperbole and death by truth in fiction. When I was nine years old I gas lit myself with a careless swing of wool on an elderly breathing stove When I was eleven years old I gas lit myself again ignoring every sign that Santa […]

4. Let Go of the Banana Have you heard the story about how to catch a monkey? There is a see-through wire fence with a series of holes in it. The holes are just big enough to fit a monkey’s hand and forearm. On the other side of the fence is a banana. The monkey […]

I found myself in a local bar called Panorama, skimming through my work contract. I contemplated my ability to continue this working abroad disaster and considered walking away from a large end-of-contract payment, or perhaps I was simply waiting for an explanation from “God” about why everything falls apart. I read the pages over and […]

If It Doesn’t Scar, It Doesn’t Count Day 11 Only a handful of people have ever seen me naked: the doctor who delivered me, the caregivers who bathed me, the boyfriend who waited until our sixth date to even try to hold my hand. I actively avoid exposing myself if I can — I was […]