Chapter 1
Human, aka Steve, whistles to Dog.
“Come here, please!” Steve, the human, says to Dog,
“Are you ready to go on an adventure? Thinking of going on a little road trip to the mountains, what do you think? Do you think we should bring you along? Or should
you stay here and we will set up a dog sitter?”
Dog thinks to himself, Fuck yeah, you better take me with or I will shit in your shoe when you leave and possibly plan a sneak-out when the dog sitter comes to get me and be in search of you, STEVE! DO NOT BETRAY ME, STEVE!
I REALLY WANNA GO, OH PLEASE DON’T BE A SELFISH FUCK AND NOT TAKE ME ALONG.
“Sit DOG. Yes, sit; that is a good boy. Here is a TREAT for a good boy!”
Dog: “You better grab the entire bag of fucking treats, Steve. No, human, this is complete bullshit, I saw you snacking on that freshly cooked bacon earlier, you fat fuck, and now you expect me to eat just one treat? Give me the whole bag of fucking treats NOW, human! I wonder if every dog must deal with this shit. Well, I will eat your dry, flavorless treat only to appease you and so you stop telling me to sit—you sit, Steve! But know I love you even though you think you are smarter than me. Wait, what about this road trip you speak of? I better be joining or else… Steve!”
